Christmas is in 4 days and Chris and I decided it was time to do our Christmas shopping. Of course I did my tradition of “wait till the last minute” again this year and still have not done my shopping. I get paid tomorrow night so I strongly noted that December 23rd Christmas shopping at the biggest mall in Canada is the game plan. I hate doing this, but it’s what has to be done. Anyway we ventured to the mall today to scope out what we needed from what stores, get in, purchase what we need and get out. No muss no fuss.
We went to H&M today and I saw this gorgeous jacket. Legit GORGEOUS! I had to have it. I had to try it on. This jacket would make me bomb in 2017. My entire year flashed in front of me, I needed this jacket. I sifted through the sizes for my usual 8, pulled it off the hanger and slid my arms into it, it felt AMAZING! This was it, I was sold. I looked down to zip it up and there it was….this disappointment. The jacket wouldn’t zip, it wouldn’t wrap all the way around me, there was simply no way this jacket would zip. I turned and looked at Chris, who simply said “try another size?”
No. no Chris. This simply will not work, I cannot just “try another size” I am a size 6-8. Always. I haven’t gained that much weight have I?? I’m just so disappointed. So he slid the 10 off the hanger and motioned me to try it on. I put it on and it just barely zipped. I could not believe it…I’m a size 14? Not possible. It can’t be. All my clothes are a small or medium, why is this happening?!? I pulled out my phone and searched google for an answer, I haven’t gained weight in the last few months, I’ve been the same size for years. All my clothes from H&M are a size 6-8. I was baffled. I came across several blogs stating H&M doesn’t “vanity size” and their sizing is “true to European sizing” so if you were to purchase a jacket “you’d want to size up twice” I’ve purchased several dresses from there and I’ve never once had to “size up” I left the store feeling defeated. Disappointed. Disgusting. Discouraged. Down right fat.
It’s not that a size 10 is upsetting to me – it’s an average size for a woman – but I realized that if me- an average size-chunky in the middle gal- needs to try on clothing that’s two sizes or more larger than her usual size, what does this mean for women who are a 10 or a 12? Do they grab a 14 or 16 at H&M?
Vanity sizing is –excuse my language for the next little bit—shitty because we live in a society where being a “small number” determines our beauty. Companies size clothing smaller or bigger depending on what sells and we eat it up like crazy. I’ve boughten into it. I’m in a mindset where if I’m not a size 6, I’m not pretty. If I’m not a Medium/small I must be fat. So having to pull a size 14 from the H&M rack was a fucking nightmare. Thank you H&M. You’ve fucking ruined my day. But should I be blaming H&M for making me feel this way or every company who vanity sizes their clothing?